Dungeon Master: Alright, so past the alcove, there’s this tavern *readjusts pants from under the table* *clears throat* and there’s two dwarf bouncers.
*the player sitting across from him in an “expressions of darth vader” shirt sneezes*
bless you. So, there’s these two bouncers that are dwarves.
Jason: Are they armed?
*kid wearing sketchers and clear framed glasses chokes a little bit on chili cheese fritos. he clears his throat*
The best part is the fact that out of the two of them Martha Stewart was the one who went to prison.
Wait…what?
Wiiiiild. He did commit murder (in self defense - no judging) and America‘s Best Housewife was sent to jail because of insider trading, securities fraud, obstruction of justice and conspiracy. This is wiiiiiild 😄😄😄
also he has every right to make fun of kanye west considering snoop has had a successful career for about two decades including his own cookbook and appearing in movies whereas kanye is a flat earther who had to crowdfund another album because he ran out of money despite kim kardashian being with him, not having the money to produce another album should be the metric when you know you can tell a musician has failed somewhere in either money management or actually being a musician rather then a famous trainwreck
snoop dogg is a good man who loves cooking, nature, and supporting the dreams of young children in poverty. kanye west helped get trump elected.
seriously though check out his cookbook its beautiful
and filled with lgiht humor, legit cooking, and charming life stories
Whenever I think about snoop I remember that episode of cribs where he lived in an unusually modest house compared to everyone else on that show, spent the entire time with his young daughter hugging onto his leg and dragging her around as he walked. He even talked about how he didn’t want his kids to be musicians and that he just wants them to have a chance at a normal life / he doesn’t wish music career drama on anyone
The dude is mega down to earth for having a networth of 135 million dollars and staying relevant for longer than some of the top charting musicians have been alive
he says he keeps a supply of poptarts in the house for his nieces/nephews and grandkids but admits theyre really for him and then goes on to discuss what selection of condiments your fridge should have to jazz up leftover takeout
hes one of the most thoroughly human humans ive ever known of
Doesn’t he also coach football for kids, and stops smoking during the season to set a good example for the kids?
all these people going on about how Hozier is the peak representation of musical soft masculinity when Snoop has been out here rocking the smoothest braids and most hype manicures for decades
Have you seen his Planet Earth voiceover video? It’s the best thing I’ve ever heard. Man knows nothing about otters
Plizzanet Earth is a joy. Here’s the playlist:
Why has no one ever told me about Plizzanet Earth oh my god
Snoop is legit; don’t come for him.
He also did an episode of Storybots and my kids adore the computer man. Which is wild to me. Cuz I remember gangster rap Snoop. And we love and support Snoop in this house.
Love him, great man
plizzanetearth
HOP ON! I’ll get you out of here!!! This thing will get us to Singapore in a SECOND FLAT!
